GOD’S WILL

Note: I wrote this article for StarStudio Magazine in 2014, and I remember it now as I struggle to create another commissioned work. Writing is never easy, even for professional writers. But through the years, I have realised that I do write better when I love, when I deeply care about that significant other who not only inspires me but helps me see the world, my work, the people I meet and talk with, in a softer, gentler, more caring perspective. And that's how I know it's real love —when I become more loving, more patient, more appreciative of life.

GOD'S WILL

How TV executive Linggit Tan and businessman Rommel Marasigan found love in mid-life

On July 5, 2014, ABS-CBN Business Unit Head for Comedy Florida “Linggit” Tan exchanged wedding vows with businessman Rommel Marasigan at the Christian Church Gospel Center on Quezon Avenue. The bride, 54, was resplendent in her Avel Bacudio gown while the groom, who turned 55 a day before, was spiffy in his silver grey suit with red bow tie, also by Bacudio. The grand ceremony was a bigger celebration of the intimate civil marriage held a year before in Submarine Garden in Lobo, Batangas.

Linggit or LT, as she is fondly called in ABS-CBN, is the executive responsible for many of the network’s most notable comedy shows: the currently airing “Goin’ Bulilit,” “Luv U,” and “Home Sweetie Home,” and “Home Along Da Riles” that starred Comedy King Dolphy. Rommel, meanwhile, is a former nurse in the US. He was married for 12 years to an American lady with whom he has a son aged 23, and a daughter, 19. Both Linggit and Rommel previously thought that they were going to spend the rest of their lives as singles.

Yet as Rommel and Linggit confidently pledged their love in front of 250 their family and friends, it was clear that they were meant to be together. “Siguro destiny,” is Rommel’s explanation as to why they fell in love.

Beach house dream

When Linggit was in college in 1980, she stayed in Mindoro for some days to research about the Mangyan tribe. The picturesque environment made an impact on the young student. “Tumira ako sa malapit sa dagat. May beach sa harapan at may bundok sa likod,” she recalls. “Doon nabuo ang dream ko na magkaroon ng beach house.”

That wish of hers remained when she began working in the broadcast industry. Whenever she taped a show in a beach location, she would check out the place to see if it could be the site of her future rest house. Since 2004, Linggit had been actively looking for a property to buy. She consulted real estate agents and asked co-workers in show business—including Tito Dolphy— for beach properties near Metro Manila. Whenever she got a lead, she would bring along her nephews and nieces and friends to assess its potential.

“Marami na talaga akong lugar na naikot,” says Linggit. Her pursuit brought her to different spots in Cavite and Batangas. A couple of years ago, she was about to purchase a land in Calatagan, Batangas but she did not push through because the title had some legal impediments.

Paradise found

In 2012, Linggit’s search finally led her to talking to actor Gabby Concepcion, an avowed beach lover. The TV executive recalls that at the contract signing for the teleserye “Kapag Puso’y Nasugatan,” Gabby quickly took out his cellphone and showed photos of his beach house in Lobo, Batangas. Linggit says, “Sabi ko kay Gabby, ‘Sige, ihanap mo nga ako ng property diyan.’”

Weeks later, some time in May 2012, Gabby advised Linggit to take a look at a 2,000-sqm beachfront lot in Lobo. The land was being sold by the Marasigans who also owned the Submarine Garden Resort located nearby. Linggit visited the lot with her older brother Santiago and liked it immediately. It was exactly what she wanted. “’Yung may tubig sa harap at may bundok sa likod,” she says with a smile.

On her next excursion to Lobo, she brought along Skylight Films executive producer Enrico Santos and ABS-CBN headwriter Joel Mercado who were also looking for a property for their respective beach houses.  Enrico and Joel also liked the place so the three—Linggit, Enrico and Joel—decided to talk to the seller as a group to haggle for a good price.

Hard bargain

They met and negotiated with Mrs. Erlinda Marasigan and her 53-year old son Rommel, a nurse who worked in Los Angeles and returned to the Philippines around 2002.  Linggit recalls that although Rommel and his mother were hospitable (“Pinakain nila kami ng piniritong saging!” says Linggit.), they were not so keen on selling the property at the price that she requested. “Tumatawad kami pero ayaw pumayag!” says Linggit.

“Binabarat kasi kami!” Rommel quickly replies with a smile.

No deal was made during that meeting but Rommel, the resort’s manager, promised to keep in touch with them. He recalls Linggit giving him a business card. When he informed the rest of his family about meeting her, they told him that she was one of ABS-CBN’s top executives. “Sino ba itong Linggit Tan? Taga-ABS-CBN daw… Pero hindi ko siya kilala,” he insists. “Wala akong TFC (The Filipino Channel) sa States. Hindi ako nanonood ng Channel 2 dahil HBO at ESPN lang ang pinapanood ko.”

Timely SMS

In the middle of 2012, Linggit took a leave of absence from work because she was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. She underwent a mastectomy on July 4, 2012. Two days later, on July 6, Linggit received a text message from Rommel informing her that his mother had agreed to sell the property at the requested price. She says, “Hindi naman alam ni Rommel na inoperahan ako. Hindi ko naman sinasabi.”

The TV exec had barely recovered from surgery when she asked her brother Santiago to go with her to Lobo to close the deal. “Kaya kahit may masakit pa sa akin, niyaya ko ang Kuya ko para ibigay namin ang earnest money.”

Welcome break

As soon as she was strong enough, Linggit initiated the building of her rest house on the newly bought property. She was allowed a six-month leave by the network to recuperate. Linggit took the break as a chance to make her long-time dream a reality. She stayed at the Submarine Garden Resort to keep a close eye on the construction. “Tumira ako sa isa sa mga cottage sa resort,” says Linggit. “Sabi ko rerentahan ko sa kanila. Pero ayaw magpabayad ng mommy ni Rommel.”

Linggit ended up spending more time at the resort than Rommel who was usually at the resort only on weekends. The good-humored Rommel says, “Si Linggit ang naging bantay. Sabi ko sa kanya, siya na muna ang bahala…”

Extra thoughtful

Actually, it was Rommel who took care of Linggit. Aside from helping her find workers and source construction materials, he also accompanied Linggit when she went to the beach to jog and snorkel.

Not only that. Rommel became extra thoughtful. “Nagluluto siya ng masarap na breakfast,” says Linggit. “Pagkatapos kong mag-snorkel, meron na siyang nakahandang breakfast para sa amin.” Linggit adds that there was also a time that Rommel loaned to her a vest. “N’ung nakita niyang gusto ko ang dagat, pinahiram niya ako ng vest. Kaya naging mas madali na akong makapag-snorkel ng malayo.”

One jogging session turned hilarious as Linggit relates. “Kapag nagjo-jogging kasi ako sa beach, barefoot ako. Kaya ganun din ang ginawa ni Rommel. Nakatapak siya ng bato at nasugatan. Ginamot ko at dinala namin sa ospital… Hindi pala siya sanay na mag-jogging na nakatapak!”

Meeting Lola

Initially, Linggit thought that Rommel’s thoughtfulness was just part of being a good host. She began to realize that there was something more when, in October 2012, she got caught in a storm and Submarine Garden was inaccessible by land. Linggit was left alone in the resort. “Hindi ako mapuntahan ni Rommel. Doon siya nag-worry,” says Linggit. “Tawag nang tawag. Ang kulit-kulit! Sabi ko, ‘Huwag ka nang tatawag. Paubos na battery ko!’” 

Although the TV exec could be very mataray, Rommel appreciated how Linggit’s kindness won his mom over. He says of Linggit, “Mabait kasi siya. Mabilis na naging kasundo ng mommy ko.”

He expressed his intention to court Linggit on November 1 when he asked her to accompany him to the cemetery. “Dinala niya ako sa puntod ng lola niya. ‘Pinakilala’ ako sa lola niya,” Linggit recalls.

Even though she had some inkling, Linggit was still surprised by Rommel’s move. Being single for some time, courtship—much less marriage—was farthest from her mind. She admits, “Ang tanda ko na n’on. Fifty-two na ako noong 2012. Hindi ko iniisip. Hindi ako sanay (na ligawan).”

Iron chef

Their courtship comprised of reading books, watching movies, taking walks on the beach, and studying the Bible. And having long talks. When Linggit returned to work at ABS-CBN, the two attended events together such as stylist Eric Pe Benito’s charity activity for the cancer patients of the Philippine Orthopedic Hospital.

Linggit, a devout Christian, says, “Nagkukuwentuhan kami ni Rommel gabi-gabi tungkol sa Bible. Naikukuwento ko sa kanya ‘yung tungkol sa salita ng Diyos.” Eventually, Rommel became a Christian.

She was especially touched when she saw Rommel cooking for a party they organized for the students of an elementary school located near the resort. “Siya ang nagluto ng spaghetti,” she says of Rommel. “Nakita ko kung paano siya naghahalo (ng sauce at noodles) sa isang malaking kawan. Ang hirap pala!”

Rommel chuckles, “Napasubo ako doon!”

Recalling how the bald-headed Rommel was quite a presence in the kitchen, Linggit says, “Ang laking tao nagluluto! Doon ko naisip, ‘Ah, seryoso ito sa panliligaw!’”

He then looks at Linggit and quips, “Hindi naman para sa iyo ‘yun… para sa mga bata!”

Three more years?

The ligawan and getting-to-know-you periods were short. By December 18, Linggit said “yes” to Rommel. The two proceeded to planning their life together. “Siyempre matanda na kami. Gusto na naming magpakasal,” she explains.

Because family is very important to Linggit, she wanted to get her siblings’ approval first. Linggit brought Rommel along to a family lunch and introduced him as her fiancé. Her sibs’ reaction was not what she hoped for. “Nagulat ang mga kapatid ko n’ung sinabi ko na kami na ni Rommel. Bakit daw. Sabi nila kilalanin ko pa raw siya muna. Sabi nila parang ang bilis,” Linggit relates.

Linggit and Rommel were planning to get married in January 2013 but they were advised to delay it. “Sabi ng kapatid niya, maghintay pa daw kami ng three years.  Long time ang three years!” says Rommel. He adds in jest that both he and Linggit would be eligible for senior citizen cards by then. “Baka libre na kami sa Mercury Drug!”

“God will make a way”

Linggit understood why her family was very protective. She says, “Ang issue kasi nila matanda na ako at ayaw nilang masaktan ako. Divorcee si Rommel at hindi naman niya ikinaila ‘yung nakaraan niya… Natakot ang mga kapatid ko para sa akin.”

She admits that Rommel had a made mistakes in his life but he is now a changed man.

The couple also faced another setback. Rommel’s older brother Mar, a colonel and a bomb expert, was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in January 2013. Because of that, Linggit felt that it was inappropriate to get married then. “Parang hindi maganda na ikakasal kami na merong maysakit sa pamilya. Hindi kami pwedeng magsaya habang merong nahihirapan.”

The two found comfort in believing that if God brought them together, the Almighty One will also make a way for them. Linggit reflects, “Kapag ginusto ni Lord, matutuloy din.”  Linggit and Rommel decided to wait.

Buking!

By July 2013, the cyst in Mar’s lung had shrunk remarkably. Linggit relates, “Parang sign sa amin na pwede na kaming magpakasal kasi okay na si Kuya Mar. Nagbalak na kaming mag-apply for a marriage license.”

The couple requested Linggit’s driver to obtain the marriage application form from the Lobo Municipal Hall.  The driver brought it to Linggit and Rommel who were supervising the construction of Linggit’s rest house. But then the driver dropped the envelope containing the document in the construction site. The foreman saw the marriage application form and immediately informed Linggit’s Kuya Santiago. The boo-boo was like a scene straight out of an ABS-CBN sitcom. Linggit could only giggle at the recollection. “Sinumbong kami! Para kaming mga 18 years old.”

Rommel also found the turn of events hilarious. “Tawa ako nang tawa! To think na sa Las Vegas, may drive-thru wedding!”

The Tan family, however, did not find the situation a laughing matter. “Nagalit ang pamilya,” Linggit reveals. “Ang usapan daw kasi maghihintay kami ng two to three years.”   

Flock of birds

However, Linggit clarifies that she and Rommel never intended to keep their wedding a secret. They were just waiting for the right time to tell her family. She surmised that since her family was unsupportive, perhaps their wedding was not yet part of God’s plan. “Kung God’s will talaga, kailangan walang kokontra,” Linggit explains. “Kaya nagdasal ako. Hiniling ko sa Diyo na kung kagustuhan Niya na makasal kami ni Rommel, bigyan niya ako ng sign.”

While jogging around the poolside of the Quezon City condominium building where she lived, Linggit saw a flock of birds hovering far away. “Sabi ko, ‘Lord, sana bigyan mo ako ng sign kung itutuloy namin ang kasal… Kapag yung birds sa malayo lumipad sa harap ko, ibig sabihin n’on pumapayag ka na ituloy namin…’”

Linggit relates excitedly that she got her answer right away. “Maya-maya, lumapit nga yung birds sa harap ko!”

The TV executive wanted to be sure so she requested for the same sign again when she paid a visit to her family in Marikina.  “Pinagdasal ko na sana makita ko ulit ‘yung flock of birds.”

As she was standing outside the Tans’ home, waiting for the helper to open the gate, a flock of white birds flew right in front of her.

The white birds, plus the fact that the new mayor of Lobo was available to officiate the wedding, gave the couple impetus to proceed.

Pamamanhikan

A few days before the July 8, 2013 civil wedding ceremony in Lobo, Linggit and Rommel had a formal pamamanhikan at a Quezon City resto with their respective immediate families in attendance. Rommel had prepared a speech of what he would say to the Tan family to prove his love and devotion to Linggit. When the actual moment came, he forgot everything. “Sabi ko ganito na lang, ‘Iimbitahin sana namin kayo sa kasal.. Sana umattend kayo.’”

Linggit shared with her family the story about the appearances of the flock of white birds. She declares, “Sabi ko sa kanila, ‘May assurance ako from God na gusto Niyang matuloy ang kasal kasi ito ang signs na binigay Niya.’ Na-appreciate naman nila. Hindi na sila pumigil sa amin… Everything came to place.”

Her ‘Dolphin’

Some time in early 2013 immediately after they officially became a couple, Linggit introduced Rommel to ABS-CBN President Charo Santos-Concio. The network big boss then asked Rommel if he wooed Linggit the traditional way by serenading her and doing “hard labor” like chopping wood (pagsisibak ng kahoy) and fetching water from the well (pag-iigib ng tubig).

“Pag-iigib ng tubig?” Rommel balked, incredulous at the network boss’ question. “Ano ako, water district? May faucet kami (sa resort) noh!” he quipped.

At once Ma’am Charo knew why Rommel had won Linggit’s heart. Linggit recalls that Ma’am Charo said, “Alam ko na kung bakit in love na in love si Linggit. He makes her laugh! She finally found Dolphy in him.’”

Another ABS-CBN executive who was at the same meeting, Creative Communications Management Head Robert Labayen, heard incorrectly and thought that Ma’am Charo said dolphin instead of Dolphy. Since then, “Dolphin” had become Linggit’s term of endearment for Rommel.

Pledge of love

In the vow she read aloud at the July 2014 wedding ceremony, Linggit spoke of how Rommel, her “Dolphin,” has made her happier. She said to him, “When you came into my life, it was one of the saddest moments in my life. It was right after I was operated on for cancer. A week after, my Tito Dolphy died. But you made me laugh with your natural wit and humor… Isa kang Dolphin!”

As Linggit pledged to be untiring in her love and support for Rommel, he promised to remain honest, caring and good to her. “I wanna grow old by your side,” he reiterated.

This couple says that the best thing about finding love in middle age is that maturity has afforded them to be more honest and understanding. “Mas maganda ang communication kapag nasa ganitong age ka na,” Rommel underscores. “Talagang honest na sa isa’t-isa.”

While their love might not possess the kilig or fervor of youthful romance, the passion it holds is deep, lasting and secure. Linggit confidently describes their love this way: “Alam na namin kung anong gusto namin at ayaw. Wala nang best foot forward. Alam na kasi namin na last leg of our life na ito.”

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