 |
| My mother, Amanda, when she was a teacher at Miriam College |
Let me tell you about our mom Amanda. She is Amy to her friends.
Nana Manda to her relatives. Buga (short for “baluga”) to the ones who knew her
when she was a little girl.
She was born in Bagong Silang, San Miguel, Bulacan in 1941. Her
father Fortunato was a farmer who, our mom said, was part of the Hukbalahap
Movement. Her mother, Maria, was a housewife. Amanda was the second to the
youngest of seven children. Eulogio, Luisa, Adring, Pedro, Catalina, and Efren.
According to Nana Adring, Manda was the only one among the siblings who did not work in the fields. Our mother Amanda preferred to study. To
contribute to the family, she sewed the edges of hankies. "Nagtatahi ng
panyo."
Manda walked a long stretch to go to school, bringing another
set of clothes that she could change into when she arrived there. She would be
so sweaty because of the great distance that she walked.
When Manda was about to graduate from high school, her mother
Maria passed away. It was a bittersweet time in her life as she was also awarded
class salutatorian. Manda did not cry until her mother was already laid in the
tomb.
Our mother was the only one among her siblings to reach and
finish college— a feat she achieved by being a working student. She was a
saleslady at the textile store of Mrs. Letty Anasco in Manila Shopping, which
was a stone's throw from the University of the East. The work kept her on her
feet for hours. She would later tell me that being a tindera was tiring &
was maybe partly responsible for her varicose veins.
In 1968, she graduated with a BS Elementary Education degree
from the University of the East at the late age of 26. She said that was the course she took because
she intended to go back to San Miguel to teach. That plan changed because she
got accepted to teach at Don Bosco Makati.
Before she began teaching there, she met a guy during a
bus ride. That guy introduced her to Armando Domingo, a chemical engineering
graduate from Feati University, who she eventually married. She gave birth to
twins—-that's me & my brother Ayedee Ace—first. She then had Gemmy and gave birth to Hernan Ameer.
Our mother was a full-time housewife until I was about to study
kindergarten at Maryknoll and Ayedee was going to enter prep in the Ateneo.
While enrolling me in Maryknoll, she found out that the school
was looking for teachers. She applied and got accepted. Our mommy Amy went back
to teaching at 37 years old. Maryknoll became my mom's second home, a community
she would be part of until she was 60.
Before getting married, our mother didn't know how to cook. She
said she learned quickly because of the need. Her specialty was embutido. She
took care of our family while juggling teaching load and also tutoring students
after school. She taught Araling Panlipunan and Pilipino and in subsequent
years, Religion and Reading.
What I remember about our mom during our growing up years — she
liked buying prawn crackers & other chiciria for our baon. She also bought
cases of softdrinks—bought directly from the Coca Cola delivery truck—for our
baon. She never spanked us. She had us learn guitar and piano and swimming.
She ran the household in a quiet and efficient way. She did the pamamalengke
herself & was very good in haggling in the market. And she sewed clothes
for me and my siblings. Our play clothes, school uniforms, panlakad, even my
prom dress and Gemmy's prom dress. She also sewed bed sheets and curtains. Our
mom was a talented dressmaker.
She liked going to Divisoria to buy tela. When I was high
school, I accompanied her to her Divisoria trips. We took two jeepney rides
to get there. One from Project 8 to Morayta. Another jeep from Morayta to
Divisoria.
Our
mom was very hardworking. She continued to tutor kids after school. At
different points, she tried businesses—fruit shakes sold to neighbors in the
summer, and cloth draw-string bags and silkscreen printed t-shirts.
Our high school and college years were financially challenging
times. Our dad did not have a steady source of income. At certain points, our mom was the sole breadwinner.
She was able to put us through school through her teacher's
salary and sidelines. When she could walk to her destination, she would do so
instead of taking the jeep or the tricycle. She applied for every kind of loan
and financial assistance available: SSS, Credit Union and whatnot.
It was through her hard work and abilities that she was able to
produce a writer, a doctor, an architect and a basketball coach-entrepreneur.
We are not demonstrative or affectionate as a family. Our mother
preferred to show her love for me and my siblings through actions. We knew she
prayed for us and our success. She supported our choices and our endeavors. She
gave up a financially-lucrative chance to teach in the US so she could continue
to be with me and my siblings. She also had a chance to pursue a masters’
degree but she gave that up, too, so she could give all her time to her family.
Apart from sewing and reading books and later on, watching
Koreanovelas, our mom had no other leisurely pursuits. She never took
vacations. Wala siyang naging luho. She hardly shopped for herself. She wasn't
mabarkada.
Perhaps her only "libangan"—if I could call it
such—was rearranging our father’s books in our home library. Our mom's life
revolved around us, her children and teaching at Maryknoll/Miriam.
Our Mom's quirks? She called the male tinderos "pogi"
(even if they were not). She used the term "buribot" for someone who
was feeling moody and masungit. She had nicknames for me and my siblings. Mine
was Geng. Gemmy's was Donya Koala. Ayedee's was Ogot's & Buboy's was simply
"Boy." She never learned to use the ATM and relied on her kids to withdraw
money for her.
Our mom had a very pragmatic view of life. She dished out
insights like "Kung mamamatay ka bukas, bakit hindi pa ngayon?"
"Ang lungkot walang pahinga, ang takot gabi lang." "Kung ang
pera nagpapagaling, walang mayamang namamatay." "Work hard
forever. Pray as if you’d die tomorrow."
Even when our mother was afflicted with dementia and Parkinson's Disease, her wit still shone through. She had an explanation why the singer of
“Pusong Bato” (her favorite song) could not eat. Our mom said, “Kasi wala siyang
ulam.”
The past seven years have been difficult for me and my siblings,
seeing our mother get weaker and fight her condition each day.
The next days, months, even years, won't be easy either. In
spite of knowing that our mom is no longer struggling and has found her peace.
My mom used the term "it takes you a lifetime" to call
my attention whenever I was too slow or too preoccupied to respond to what she
wanted me to do.
That
term "it takes a lifetime" comes to mind again but holds deeper
meaning. Ma, Mommy, it's going to take us more than a lifetime to repay your
love and generosity. We thank you and we love you. Thank you for your love.
